Life's Too Sports

In July 2016, the Harry Potter fandom received a highly-anticipated gift -- the release of a sequel to the original series:  Harry Potter and the Cursed Child . Like millions across the globe, I found myself extremely excited for the first new Harry Potter story since 2007.  As I was unable to travel to London to witness the play, I drove to my local target on July 31 and purchased the script in its written form. In case anyone is still unaware, this story was not meant to be enjoyed via words on a page. While those who attend the live-action production of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child  tend to cite its stunning visual effects and overlook an unfulfilling plot, the written format feels more like an intriguing fanfiction. Here are five examples of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child losing the narrative integrity of Rowling's original series. 1. Delphini "Diggory" If you're unfamiliar with this story and do not wish to have it spoiled, now would be a good time to st...

On June 26, 1997,  Harry Potter creator J.K. Rowling introduced the world to a remarkable new sport called Quidditch. In theory, Rowling's invention is fairly simple. For those who are unfamiliar with the game, I will provide a brief description of its rules.  Quidditch is played in a 7-on-7 format on flying broomsticks. Each team features three "Chasers" who attempt to throw a large ball (called the Quaffle) past the opposing team's "Keeper" into one of three circular hoops.  Every time the Chasers succeed in beating the Keeper, their team is awarded 10 points. Meanwhile, there are a pair of bat-wielding "Beaters" on each team who add to the chaos by clubbing two smaller balls (called Bludgers) at their opposition. However, the most important position on the field is that of the "Seeker", which is Harry Potter's position on Gryffindor's Quidditch team during his time at Hogwarts.  Each team has one Seeker who scours t...

Lumos. As I have not written an article about the Harry Potter universe since my assessment of fandom shipping in 2017, I thought it might be time to dust off my old spellbooks and get to work. What better way to ease back into this marvelous realm than with a complete ranking of the wizarding school's infamously cursed teaching position? From 1991 to 1998, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry saw seven "Defence Against the Dark Arts" Professors instruct its students. And here are my rankings. 7. Dolores Umbridge Placing Umbridge last has to be a controversial pick given some of the horribly evil instructors who shared this position with her throughout the 1990s. However, her character is absolutely intolerable. In Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts, Umbridge refuses to allow her students any hands-on practice with spells, denies the return of Lord Voldemort, and subjects our favorite protagonist to cruel and unusual punishment. While her movie depiction is quite a...

The origins of "Spider-Man" can be traced back to the year of 1962, when Stan Lee and Steve Ditko's masked hero first made an appearance in an anthology comic book by the name of Amazing Fantasy #15 . Since that fateful release, Spider-Man has been plastered everywhere: from comics to novels, coloring books to video games, records to multiple waves of television series', and perhaps most notably, on the big screen. In many ways, however, Spider-Man's true overexposure began in the spring of 2002, when Marvel's genetically-altered superhero took to the cinema for the very first time. This release, pitting Tobey Maguire's "Spider-Man" against Willem Dafoe's "Green Goblin", would open the franchise up to an immeasurable world of possibilities. Following rather overwhelming commercial success, Tobey Maguire reprised his role as Spider-Man in "Spider-Man 2" (2004) and "Spider-Man 3" (2007), defeating numerous villa...

Among the most popular fictional realms explored in literature, one may find J.K. Rowling's "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry". At Hogwarts, there are hundreds of young witches and wizards in training, clinging to the ultimate goal of leaving a lasting impact on the wizarding world. However, in watching these students mature, the Harry Potter fan base cannot seem to help themselves from "shipping" (or supporting romantic partnerships between) any random combination of two characters in the Potterverse. Perhaps the most inexplicably popular "ship" is the notion that protagonist Harry Potter should have been tied to long-time friend Hermione Granger. Admittedly, throughout the series, Harry and Hermione seemed to share a very deep intellectual and emotional connection. However, in thorough analysis of their relationship, most will come to the conclusion that the pair were simply very good friends, while Hermione's heart ultimately belong...

Generally inspired by an unpleasant Chemistry instructor whom J.K. Rowling was forced to endure during her time in secondary school, Professor Severus Snape is amongst the most intriguing of characters in the Harry Potter world. In many ways, Severus Snape acts as the catalyst for the entire series, as it is he who initially informs Lord Voldemort of the prophecy involving a boy who is to become the Dark Lord's downfall (which consequently leads to the death of Lily and James Potter, as well as the first disappearance of “You-Know-Who” himself). However, Snape's impact is much more widespread than on this specific occasion -- rather, the reader spends essentially the entire duration of the series struggling to decipher where his loyalties truly remain. In essence, as the reader becomes more familiar with Snape's character, they also become more confused in regards to his allegiance.  From the onset, J.K. Rowling places Snape in a quite shady role. The reader can...

O n November 15, 2002, almost a full year after the release of the first Harry Potter film, hardcore Potter fans across the globe would finally receive what they had spent four agonizing years awaiting: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets was coming to the Big Screen. Much as the first film was quite similar to the novel, the film for Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets remained very faithful to J.K. Rowling’s second masterpiece. However, there were (of course) still quite a few omissions, and general liberties taken by the filmmakers, which is why I have dedicated my time to analyzing the differences and creating yet another blog post (I’m sorry . . . or perhaps, you’re welcome). As this novel seems to have even more differences of greater significance than its predecessor, I shall attempt to refrain from stressing the utterly pointless, minor details. (No promises . . .) Once again, I will reiterate that I am not suggesting that there is anything necessarily ...

On the highly anticipated day of November 16, 2001, avid fans of the Harry Potter book series busted into theatres across the globe with purpose, in a desperate attempt to finally catch a glimpse of their favorite characters’ Big Screen adaptations. As these fans left the cinema, however, many of them immediately found something (regardless of how miniscule) to complain about. And while Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s (or, before many of you exit this tab in sheer disgust – Philosopher’s ) Stone ended up being perhaps the most true to the novel, in comparison with all eight of the “Warner Bros.” productions, the vast majority of hardcore Potter fans still felt strangely disappointed by this movie. In actuality, I am not suggesting that every single minor difference between the novel and the film must be highly scrutinized. I am not suggesting that we should collectively revolt because we do not get to see Professor Snape officiating a Quidditch match in the film. I am not sugg...