Ranking Harry Potter's "Defence Against the Dark Arts" Professors
Lumos.
What better way to ease back into this marvelous realm than with a complete ranking of the wizarding school's infamously cursed teaching position?
From 1991 to 1998, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry saw seven "Defence Against the Dark Arts" Professors instruct its students.
And here are my rankings.
7. Dolores Umbridge
Placing Umbridge last has to be a controversial pick given some of the horribly evil instructors who shared this position with her throughout the 1990s. However, her character is absolutely intolerable. In Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts, Umbridge refuses to allow her students any hands-on practice with spells, denies the return of Lord Voldemort, and subjects our favorite protagonist to cruel and unusual punishment. While her movie depiction is quite aggravating, reading her character in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is almost unbearable. Educational Decree #394 declares that Umbridge is a real piece of work. I'm sorry, Dolores. One mustn't tell lies.
6. Quirinus Quirrell
Perhaps Quirrell is the obvious choice for last place considering that he literally has the most evil wizard in the history of the universe attached to his head. Positioning this Professor at sixth only exemplifies the fandom's pure hatred of Umbridge. Throughout Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Quirrell is depicted as a nervous, feeble character who struggles to put together a cohesive sentence. However, the big reveal remains that his anxiousness is an act, as he actually seeks to grant Lord Voldemort eternal life. Props to Dumbledore for allowing this guy to spend an entire year on Hogwarts grounds. Yikes. Can't tell you how pleased I am that he's gone.
5. Amycus Carrow
It's a testament to how truly terrifying these options are that the Carrows do not belong at the bottom of this list. Thankfully, Harry and his friends abandon their final year of school in search of Lord Voldemort's Horcruxes; thus, readers and viewers alike are not granted a full grasp of Professor Carrow's evil in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Nonetheless, it is made clear that he and his sister are both Death Eaters, devoting their life to Voldemort's service. Furthermore, this new regime leads to students being tortured during Harry's absence from Hogwarts. If the fandom had been provided with more information, perhaps Professor Carrow would rank even below Quirrell. Not Umbridge, though. She's still the worst.
4. 'Mad-Eye' Moody / Barty Crouch Jr.
In Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, the entire castle is deceived by Barty Crouch Jr., the son of a Ministry of Magic official who spends a year drinking Polyjuice Potion to disguise himself as 'Mad-Eye' Moody in a plot to resurrect Lord Voldemort. How can I rank a Death Eater as the fourth best "Defence Against the Dark Arts" instructor in Harry's time at Hogwarts? Perhaps it was entirely an act, but his aggressiveness in this educational position is admirable compared to many useless Professors in the same role. Moody teaches his students about the Unforgivable Curses, helps Harry navigate through an unpredictable and dangerous Triwizard Tournament, and (best of all) transforms Draco Malfoy into a ferret. It's just unfortunate that he wasn't actually Moody. Props to Dumbledore once again. Yeesh.
3. Gilderoy Lockhart
This character is incredibly annoying, yet relatively harmless, which automatically catapults him into third place on my list. In Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Lockhart quickly establishes himself as an egotistical fraud by giving the students a quiz about his impressive magical conquests and subsequently failing to wrangle a few Cornish Pixies he's let loose in his classroom. This "Professor" is so preoccupied with boasting about his undeserved fame that he fails to do much legitimate teaching, leaving readers and viewers wondering if he's actually useful for anything. Ultimately, the answer is "Yes", he's quite gifted with Memory Charms. Unless, of course, he's attempting one with a broken wand. It's an odd sort of place, isn't it? Do you live here?
2. Severus Snape
I love Professor Snape, as he's arguably one of the most perplexing and layered characters in all of literature. This isn't to say that Snape is a particularly good fit for teaching "Defence Against the Dark Arts". In fact, even Dumbledore (whose judgement is frequently lacking) held off on granting him the position for many years (though in retrospect, this may have been largely due to his knowledge of the curse Voldemort had placed on it). Despite Snape's flaws, however, he seems to be a fairly knowledgeable and competent instructor. Unfortunately, in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, he makes an Unbreakable Vow to kill Dumbledore, which probably leads to difficulty concentrating on teaching students to deflect unfriendly spells. There's no need to call me 'sir', Professor.
1. Remus Lupin
Dumbledore recruits Professor Lupin to teach "Defence Against the Dark Arts" in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Naturally, his hire of a werewolf immediately proves to be one of his best decisions of the decade. Professor Lupin is not only amongst the more friendly instructors that Harry encounters in his time at Hogwarts, but also the most useful. During the 1993-1994 school year, Lupin makes a concerted effort to prepare his class for a variety of dangers, including that of the Boggart, a shapeshifter that instantly becomes its victims' worst fear. Lupin also teaches Harry the Patronus Charm, which allows him to time-travel and spare the life of Sirius Black -- if only for two years. Admittedly, all characters have their flaws, but Professor Lupin is about as good as it gets. It is the quality of one's convictions that determines success, not the number of followers.
What are your thoughts on my rankings?
Feel free to let me know in the comments section below and don't forget to "Subscribe" for future post notifications :)
Nox.
Yesss! Loved the list❤️⚡
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