Cinematic Chronicles

During October 2026, I watched 15 new movies in theaters using my Regal Unlimited subscription. Here's my ranking of every movie I saw this month, from worst to best. If you missed it, check out my September 2026 movie rankings where I reviewed Resident Evil, Forgotten Island , and other theatrical releases. Warning: there are minor spoilers ahead. 15. Other Mommy ★★⯪☆☆ "You were in my heart. Can I go into your heart?" Since its trailer debuted this summer, Other Mommy has been one of my most highly anticipated releases of 2026. As a huge fan of Coraline , I was immediately drawn to its similarly unsettling premise, but unfortunately, the finished product did little to justify my excitement. Perhaps the marketing campaign was simply too effective, as many of the film's best moments had already been revealed in the trailer. Director Rob Savage reportedly promised 50 jump scares, but I certainly didn't feel as though I'd experienced anything close to that num...

During September 2026, I watched 14 new movies in theaters using my Regal Unlimited subscription. Here's my ranking of every movie I saw this month, from worst to best. If you missed it, check out my  August 2026 movie rankings  where I reviewed  Coyote vs. ACME, The End of Oak Street , and other theatrical releases. Warning: there are minimal spoilers ahead. 14. Fall 2: Deadpoint  ★★☆☆☆ "You got this, keep going!" Forrest Gump's mother once said: "Stupid is as stupid does." That phrase seems especially apropos here. The premise of the first film was already difficult to wrap my head around: a woman’s “best friend” forces her to complete a deadly climb after they both witnessed her husband die doing this very thing. However, Fall still had its moments—there was a genuinely shocking twist, and the movie managed to create real suspense and fear along the way. This sequel strips away nearly everything that made its predecessor intriguing. The characters are so...

During August 2026, I watched 11 new movies in theaters using my Regal Unlimited subscription. Here's my ranking of every movie I saw this month, from worst to best. If you missed it, check out my July 2026 movie rankings where I reviewed The Odyssey ,  Spider-Man: Brand New Day , and other theatrical releases. Warning: there are minimal spoilers ahead. 11. Buddy ★☆☆☆☆ "You love Buddy. Yes, you do. And I love each one of you." Where do I even begin with Buddy ? The marketing for this film? Brilliant. The premise itself? Captivating. Think Barney, except instead of a purple dinosaur, he’s an orange unicorn who turns violent whenever the children disobey him. On paper, it's the kind of absurd horror-comedy that practically writes itself. Unfortunately, the execution was sorely lacking. Far too many scenes felt as though they existed purely for shock value rather than because they served the story. At times, it seemed as though the writers simply plugged the plot into C...

During July 2026, I watched 8 new movies in theatres using my Regal Unlimited subscription. From major releases like Spider-Man: Brand New Day and  The Odyssey to smaller films such as The Invite and  Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass , here's my ranking of every movie I saw this month, from worst to best. If you missed it, check out my June 2026 movie rankings where I reviewed Disclosure Day , Toy Story 5 , and other theatrical releases. Warning: there are minimal spoilers ahead. 8. Minions & Monsters ★★⯪☆☆ "Ah, James. Rolls off the face tendrils." After sixteen years of avoiding this franchise, I finally sat through all six films in preparation for Minions & Monsters  — only for Illumination to release a completely unrelated prequel instead. In my estimation, this is the worst installment in the series to date. The studio took a bold swing by cramming a children's movie with references to classic cinema. Bolder still were the painfully on-the-nose a...

During June 2026, I watched 12 new movies in theatres using my Regal Unlimited subscription. From major releases like Toy Story 5 and Disclosure Day to smaller films such as Leviticus and Power Ballad , here's my ranking of every movie I saw this month, from worst to best. If you missed it, check out my May 2026 movie rankings where I reviewed Obsession, Michael, and other theatrical releases. Warning: there are minimal spoilers ahead. 12. Scary Movie 6 ★☆☆☆☆ "Should we hug?" "I really want to, but I'm a Republican now, so I'm supposed to be racist." When you watch a film trailer, you might expect it to be assembled as a highlight reel that drives people to their local theatre. What you might not expect, however, is for the only halfway amusing jokes in Scary Movie 6  to be included in its trailer. Critics will be skeptical of some "anti-woke" dialogue, questioning potential racism and/or transphobia. Social injustices aside, I was simply h...

During May 2026, I watched 16 movies in theaters using my Regal Unlimited subscription. From major releases like Michael and The Mandalorian and Grogu to smaller independent films such as Saccharine  and Is God Is , here's my ranking of every movie I saw this month, from worst to best. If you missed it, check out my April 2026 movie rankings where I reviewed Hokum, The Drama, and other theatrical releases. Warning: there are minimal spoilers ahead. 16. Animal Farm  ★☆☆☆☆ If George Orwell wasn't already rolling in his grave watching 2026 unfold... We've seen Andy Serkis do incredible things with roles in franchises like  The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and even the Marvel Cinematic Universe . And now we've seen him disrespect George Orwell with a   "retelling" of Animal Farm that introduces a new protagonist and completely misses the message of the original story. It's one thing to modernize a plot, or even make complex themes more palatable for childr...

"Now we all have hepatitis." The long-anticipated sequel to 2018's I Can Only Imagine features John Michael Finley reprising his role as MercyMe lead vocalist Bart Millard. Warning: there are spoilers ahead. Following a significant time jump, "I Can Only Imagine" has become the most successful song in the history of Christian radio. Unfortunately, Bart struggles to navigate the complexities of his personal life, as a rigorous touring schedule repeatedly takes him away from his wife and their five children -- particularly their son Sam, who was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes following a childhood seizure. As the story unfolds, Sam begins to resent Bart for constantly nagging him over his blood sugar level, but as an aspiring musician himself, quickly agrees to join his father on the road for MercyMe's upcoming tour. Band manager Scott Brickell soon reveals fellow Christian singer Tim Timmons as the opening act for the tour. While on the road, Timmons takes a ...

On June 11, 2021, Maroon 5 delighted fans across the globe with the release of their seventh studio album,  Jordi -- a tribute to the band's late manager Jordan Feldstein, who passed away in 2017. While the band's fanbase has been generally receptive of their latest effort, Maroon 5 critics provide mixed reviews at best, scrutinizing the group once again for producing "depthless" pop music, and describing the album as "lackluster" and "forgettable". Nonetheless,  Jordi would quickly garner international success on brand name alone, as Maroon 5 remains one of the most well-known ensembles in the world. With two months now firmly in the rearview, here's a look at the Spotify play count of all 14 tracks on  Jordi 's deluxe edition, arranged by popularity. 1. Memories (1,235,564,787 streams) 2. Beautiful Mistakes (244,091,342 streams) 3. Nobody's Love (132,862,809 streams) 4. Lifestyle (95,293,396 streams) 5. Lost (31,675,612 streams) 6. E...