Cinematic Chronicles

During May 2026, I watched 16 movies in theaters using my Regal Unlimited subscription. From major releases like Michael and The Mandalorian and Grogu to smaller independent films such as Saccharine  and Is God Is , here's my ranking of every movie I saw this month, from worst to best. If you missed it, check out my April 2026 movie rankings where I reviewed Hokum, The Drama, and other theatrical releases. Warning: there are minimal spoilers ahead. 16. Animal Farm  ★☆☆☆☆ If George Orwell wasn't already rolling in his grave watching 2026 unfold... We've seen Andy Serkis do incredible things with roles in franchises like  The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and even the Marvel Cinematic Universe . And now we've seen him disrespect George Orwell with a   "retelling" of Animal Farm that introduces a new protagonist and completely misses the message of the original story. It's one thing to modernize a plot, or even make complex themes more palatable for childr...

Over the past 30 days, I saw 10 films in theatre using my Regal Unlimited subscription.  Here's my assessment of this latest batch of cinematic offerings. Warning: there are spoilers ahead. 10. Mother Mary Anne Hathaway: pop diva or demon exorcist? The question you might ask is why this cult film about a fictional pop star was released alongside a film about perhaps the greatest pop star in history. Truthfully, I am yet to see Michael in theatres, but can confirm  Mother Mary is lacking in substance. The story is told in a series of flashbacks. Mother Mary reunites with former stylist Sam (Michaela Coel) and the audience slowly uncovers missteps in both her career and personal relationships. Two hours later, I remained uninterested, as did the person snoring in the row behind me. 9. The Super Mario Galaxy Movie Pure chaos. Still lacking substance.  Admittedly, I'm not well-versed on the Super Mario universe, but I watched the 2023 incarnation first in hopes of gainin...

"Family reunions can be challenging."  As can killing immortal members of a Satanic cult, particularly when their names are written on a severed pig's head. Regal Theatres Monday's Mystery Movie (3/23) was revealed to be  They Will Kill You , co-written and directed by Russian filmmaker Kirill Sokolov. Warning: there are spoilers below. And above. Sokolov's 2026 film   tells the story of Asia and Maria Reaves, sisters who were separated after Asia shot their abusive father and was arrested, while Maria remained in his custody. A decade later, following her prison sentence, Asia arrives at "The Virgil" -- an exclusive, century-old building in New York that houses the wealthy and elite. Posing as a maid under a false identity, she introduces herself to building manager Lilith Woodhouse (Patricia Arquette), and is shown to her room. The conflict escalates quickly . While sleeping that night, Asia is ambushed by several masked introducers, who are surprised...