Cinematic Chronicles

During October 2026, I watched 15 new movies in theaters using my Regal Unlimited subscription. Here's my ranking of every movie I saw this month, from worst to best. If you missed it, check out my September 2026 movie rankings where I reviewed Resident Evil, Forgotten Island , and other theatrical releases. Warning: there are minor spoilers ahead. 15. Other Mommy ★★⯪☆☆ "You were in my heart. Can I go into your heart?" Since its trailer debuted this summer, Other Mommy has been one of my most highly anticipated releases of 2026. As a huge fan of Coraline , I was immediately drawn to its similarly unsettling premise, but unfortunately, the finished product did little to justify my excitement. Perhaps the marketing campaign was simply too effective, as many of the film's best moments had already been revealed in the trailer. Director Rob Savage reportedly promised 50 jump scares, but I certainly didn't feel as though I'd experienced anything close to that num...

During September 2026, I watched 14 new movies in theaters using my Regal Unlimited subscription. Here's my ranking of every movie I saw this month, from worst to best. If you missed it, check out my  August 2026 movie rankings  where I reviewed  Coyote vs. ACME, The End of Oak Street , and other theatrical releases. Warning: there are minimal spoilers ahead. 14. Fall 2: Deadpoint  ★★☆☆☆ "You got this, keep going!" Forrest Gump's mother once said: "Stupid is as stupid does." That phrase seems especially apropos here. The premise of the first film was already difficult to wrap my head around: a woman’s “best friend” forces her to complete a deadly climb after they both witnessed her husband die doing this very thing. However, Fall still had its moments—there was a genuinely shocking twist, and the movie managed to create real suspense and fear along the way. This sequel strips away nearly everything that made its predecessor intriguing. The characters are so...

During August 2026, I watched 11 new movies in theaters using my Regal Unlimited subscription. Here's my ranking of every movie I saw this month, from worst to best. If you missed it, check out my July 2026 movie rankings where I reviewed The Odyssey ,  Spider-Man: Brand New Day , and other theatrical releases. Warning: there are minimal spoilers ahead. 11. Buddy ★☆☆☆☆ "You love Buddy. Yes, you do. And I love each one of you." Where do I even begin with Buddy ? The marketing for this film? Brilliant. The premise itself? Captivating. Think Barney, except instead of a purple dinosaur, he’s an orange unicorn who turns violent whenever the children disobey him. On paper, it's the kind of absurd horror-comedy that practically writes itself. Unfortunately, the execution was sorely lacking. Far too many scenes felt as though they existed purely for shock value rather than because they served the story. At times, it seemed as though the writers simply plugged the plot into C...

During July 2026, I watched 8 new movies in theatres using my Regal Unlimited subscription. From major releases like Spider-Man: Brand New Day and  The Odyssey to smaller films such as The Invite and  Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass , here's my ranking of every movie I saw this month, from worst to best. If you missed it, check out my June 2026 movie rankings where I reviewed Disclosure Day , Toy Story 5 , and other theatrical releases. Warning: there are minimal spoilers ahead. 8. Minions & Monsters ★★⯪☆☆ "Ah, James. Rolls off the face tendrils." After sixteen years of avoiding this franchise, I finally sat through all six films in preparation for Minions & Monsters  — only for Illumination to release a completely unrelated prequel instead. In my estimation, this is the worst installment in the series to date. The studio took a bold swing by cramming a children's movie with references to classic cinema. Bolder still were the painfully on-the-nose a...

During June 2026, I watched 12 new movies in theatres using my Regal Unlimited subscription. From major releases like Toy Story 5 and Disclosure Day to smaller films such as Leviticus and Power Ballad , here's my ranking of every movie I saw this month, from worst to best. If you missed it, check out my May 2026 movie rankings where I reviewed Obsession, Michael, and other theatrical releases. Warning: there are minimal spoilers ahead. 12. Scary Movie 6 ★☆☆☆☆ "Should we hug?" "I really want to, but I'm a Republican now, so I'm supposed to be racist." When you watch a film trailer, you might expect it to be assembled as a highlight reel that drives people to their local theatre. What you might not expect, however, is for the only halfway amusing jokes in Scary Movie 6  to be included in its trailer. Critics will be skeptical of some "anti-woke" dialogue, questioning potential racism and/or transphobia. Social injustices aside, I was simply h...

During May 2026, I watched 16 movies in theaters using my Regal Unlimited subscription. From major releases like Michael and The Mandalorian and Grogu to smaller independent films such as Saccharine  and Is God Is , here's my ranking of every movie I saw this month, from worst to best. If you missed it, check out my April 2026 movie rankings where I reviewed Hokum, The Drama, and other theatrical releases. Warning: there are minimal spoilers ahead. 16. Animal Farm  ★☆☆☆☆ If George Orwell wasn't already rolling in his grave watching 2026 unfold... We've seen Andy Serkis do incredible things with roles in franchises like  The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and even the Marvel Cinematic Universe . And now we've seen him disrespect George Orwell with a   "retelling" of Animal Farm that introduces a new protagonist and completely misses the message of the original story. It's one thing to modernize a plot, or even make complex themes more palatable for childr...

"Fist my bump." In the film adaptation of Andy Weir's 2021 novel Project Hail Mary , science teacher Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) awakens from a coma aboard a spacecraft light years from Earth and realizes that he is the sole survivor on board. Warning: there are spoilers ahead. Over a span of two and a half hours, this film interweaves two separate narratives: Grace's current predicament up in space, and the events that led to his fateful journey. In the past timeline, scientists discover a microorganism known as Astrophage, whose increasing presence on the Sun threatens a disastrous global cooling on Earth. Government agent Eva Stratt recruits Grace and other scientists to study Astrophage, before unveiling her ultimate plan: "Project Hail Mary". Stratt intends to send a crew on a suicide mission to Tau Ceti, the only unaffected nearby star, aboard a spacecraft containing only enough fuel for a one-way trip. However, when an Astrophage-related mishap kills ...

So you want to catch a movie released on Friday the 13th . . . In an era of horror dominated by jump scares, Ian Tuason's Undertone is a minimalistic film that relies almost entirely on sound and unconventional camera shots to create an unsettling atmosphere. The protagonist of this story is Evangeline "Evy" Babig (played by Nina Kiri), who runs a horror podcast alongside her off-screen friend Justin (Adam DiMarco). Warning: there are spoilers ahead . As the plot develops, Justin receives an anonymous email containing ten audio files, recorded by an unknown couple -- Mike and Jessa.  Mike has recorded Jessa at night to capture evidence of her talking and singing in her sleep.  During their podcast, Evy and Justin begin playing these recordings in reverse to uncover secret messages within Jessa's ramblings. Mike, kill all. Lick the blood off. Come in, Abyzou. In her breaks from podcasting, Evy has been tasked with caring for her comatose mother. She feels very guilty a...

Who doesn't love a self-aware animated film? "Guys, this is like Avatar !" exclaims Mabel Tanaka, protagonist of Daniel Chong's  Hoppers . "This is nothing like Avatar !" cries Dr. Sam in response. Spoiler alert... it was kind of like Avatar . Warning: there are actual spoilers ahead . Pixar's latest installment revolves around a teenage girl with a particular affinity for animals.  Inspired by her late grandmother, Mabel seeks to protect a nearby glade from being destroyed by (perceived antagonist) Mayor Jerry's freeway project.  After discovering experimental technology allowing a human mind to “hop” into a robotic animal body, Mabel transfers her consciousness into a robotic beaver and decides to live among the animals to better understand their society. While in disguise, she befriends Mammal King George and helps unite a variety of species in the forest while battling a guilty conscience about her true identity. In this film's climax, the a...